Did you get the feeling you've been Jeetered?

Much on my little pea-brain at the moment. None of which I'd go into in a public forum. Suffice it to say, if'n you know me in the RL, then you know. I seem to say [post] this line with some regularity.

Instead I will say this: I like that after working a 10 hour shift, I can come home to find my little grey man, also know as the 'backdrop usurper', giving me blinky eyes and a big, fang-y yawn on the couch. I like that he follows me upstairs, biting my hands and purring so amazingly loud that I'm surprised he doesn't wake Mr.[.]

I find myself appreciating very, very small things right about now. Wish that somehow, magically, I could be different. Wish that I could wish all my foible/humerus away. That not being the case, I just wish in vain. Can you dig it?

I'm hearing that voice in my head, all buttery smooth, deep and velvety, chock full of 1973. Once again, if'n you know me in the RL, you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about. If you don't know me, if I am just random words on a screen, than I am fully aware that I sound just like a total fucking wingnut. To some extent, I suppose this is, in fact, the case.

Like everything else, this is all relative. This brings me partially to the crux of this post. I don't want to elaborate on personal matters, ESPECIALLY not MY OWN personal matters in a public forum. However, it being what it is, and also being a large part of my own life, it does, in fact, get to me, bring me down, and harsh my mellow, dooood.

Since these things affect me personally more days than they don't, due to my work situation, I get slightly stressed out from time to time. I vent to a select small group, all in the inner circle and most definitely DIRECTLY involved, who understand all the subtlety and nuance. I sometimes try to explain these things to Mr.; he doesn't get it, due to his not being a part of the inner sanctum. This is all fine, as I don't understand the politics of the movie biz - not being my chosen field, et al.

This is why I wish sometimes that I were totally different. Not that I had a different profession, as I enjoy being a bartender, overall. But sometimes I think that perhaps I need to have a TOTALLY different personality to do this job. I laugh when I think of my mother telling me a million years ago that this is exactly what I should do. This coming from the sweetest, most people pleasing-est [in the most UN-snarky sense of the word], outgoing woman ever. Me, I'm the most sullen, surly, withdrawn wench ever.

I realize this self-indulgent post makes it sound like I had a crummy night; this is actually the opposite of the day that I've had. Overall, it was pretty swell. All day and all night I had bunches of well-behaved, polite, friendly, albeit, drunk folks. I'm just sort of burnt right at the moment. Once again, can you dig it? An introvert surrounded by extroverts - ARGGH!